A Little Bit Different Me

As a part of my self-confidence campaign for myself, I decided to make some "personal diary" label of my blog. I believe it's kinda required for a web-publisher to have self-confidence, and I am always shy of making "personal-diary" posts on any websites. But now I will try to be very personal to practice my self-confidence.

Last night I slept at 3:00 am, (maybe we better call it "last day"). I was up all the way till 3 writing up my program plans on my notebook for 4 projects I am personally developing, one of these is my own database program.

I was doing this all day yesterday but I prefer doing it at night, where almost everybody is already sleeping. Our house isn't big to get me isolated from distractions and stress. The silence of the night keeps me focused, but I believe the human nature of sleeping at that time is a real disadvantage. Either I drink coffee or else I find myself on the wooden sofa sleeping over my notebook, crumpling some of the pages. Tonight I didn't had money to buy coffee. I forgot to ask dad before he slept, well I doubt he would give me, well I tried to ask, he got angry

I tried to think of alternate "stimulant". I remembered when I am sleepy at classes, I'll get my finger pinch my other palm. That night I got clothes peg and put pinched my ribs *ouch*. It's kinda funny but I considered it as a 'serious' way. at 3 my body gave up, but I set up the alarm of my cellphone at 6.

I woke up at 9, finding out that someone turned off the alarm, I didn't cared who, it was stupid to wake up at 6 sleeping at 3 anyway. I started up continuing writing my plans. I was about in the 24th page, when I stopped, I saw our dog, unleashed, then I go near her and saw her skin is damaged with small lesion that I doubt will heal normally. I decided to give her a bath, but I will do it with care, dogs are known water fearing...

I remember a TV demo on doing this so I followed it, not to directly pour water on her face and minimizing the sudden pouring of water. I enjoyed doing it, and I even made it right also on her puppy. It's my first time doing this so I really enjoyed it.

I continued my program-plan writing, alil bit more, I decided to drink some coffee. My mom heard it and started up talking something I hate.

It pains me when I hear from my mother that it's "abnormal" habit to stay up at night just for that. Even tho I understand that she isn't aware what I do, I still can't help but be angry when she talks like that. My family is the first reason why I changed like this, I want to do my very best to succeed in life. As long as we prostrate in poverty, I will never stop doing this.